“…they knew they had to put their faith in fragility.” Arundhati Roy The God of Small Things
“What are you doing with your life?” is a question I regularly ask myself, which isn’t always a good idea ’cause I’m a pretty moody guy. The opening lyrics of Pete Philly & Perquisite’s track “Mind State” describe my usual response perfectly, ”I fall into the darkness and I can’t get out, Once again depressed, stressed, and filled with doubt.”
I came out of Wheaton College with a background in impressive sociological and anthropological macro-theories, mixed with heavy doses of Rage Against the Machine and some Immortal Technique through my headphones. I thought I could be a leader in the revolution to show fools (‘specially them rich white ones) how life is really supposed to look. Now a few years out of that academic context, I have little idea what I want to do or whether I’ll ever be able to get it together enough to meaningfully contribute to society at all. (Then again, I almost always distrust people who claim they have it all together, so I guess that’s not a level of self-realization I fully expect to reach.)
The first step I take in dealing with my response above is invoking Saul Williams’ declaration that “the role of darkness is not to be seen as or equated with ignorance, but with the unknown and the mysteries of the unseen” and then moving on.